


Tea and Cricket

by Rochelle_Templer



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Bits between episodes, Expanded Scenes, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Missing Scenes, Slice of Life, episode tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-02-06 12:05:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12817146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rochelle_Templer/pseuds/Rochelle_Templer
Summary: A collection of short pieces involving the Fifth Doctor, his friends and the adventures they have together.





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is a companion piece (joke somewhat intended) to the first chapter of my "Snark and Ginger" series which is centered on Turlough. Although I plan on writing chapters that span all of the Fifth Doctor's adventures and involve just about all of his companions, there will probably be other crossover chapters between the two series in the future.
> 
> This takes place during the first episode of "Mawdryn Undead".

_‘Maybe Tegan has a point,’_ the Doctor mused as he ran toward the TARDIS. _‘It does seem as if improbable things tend happen to me. And a few of them…well, all right, many of them…do end up being trouble.’_

It had all started innocently enough with a leisurely stroll through time and space. The Doctor knew that Tegan was still coming to terms with her experience with the Mara. As a result, he wanted to take his time traveling to their next destination: somewhere quiet and relaxing. Maybe the Eye of Orion. He had a feeling Tegan would like it. He was sure that Nyssa would.

However, all of his thoughts of a quiet, relaxing holiday were brought to an abrupt halt when he found the TARDIS trapped in a warp ellipse of a star-liner which was also traveling in time and space. Nyssa had said that the chances of that occurring were several billion to one against. She wasn’t the precise mathematician Adric was, but the Doctor trusted her estimate anyway.

Their problem only got worse with the near collision with the star-liner, the forced materialization onto the ship, and then their inability to dematerialize away from it. The Doctor had started to search his mind for ways to break the news to Tegan that they might be having a much longer holiday than he had anticipated when a signal from his console alerted him to a possible solution.

_‘Ah, yes, the transmat capsule. That must be what is interfering with the TARDIS. If I can take care of that, we can escape and go on that holiday Tegan wanted.’_

The Doctor smiled as he ran for the TARDIS doors. Even the most boring, sedate destinations he could think of were infinitely preferable to being trapped on this star-liner for eternity. For once, it seemed that the answer to his problems would be a straightforward one.

He dashed inside, made sure to dodge the person already at the controls and flicked a switch that would enter the coordinates he was about to type into the TARDIS’ navigational system. Once that was done, all Nyssa would have to do is set the TARDIS in motion.

_‘I better make sure to let her know that she’ll need to….’_

Suddenly, the Doctor’s line of thought stopped. There was someone standing in front of the console. But he’d left Nyssa and Tegan behind at the star-liner’s controls. So who…?

The Doctor slowly lifted his head. Although the ship appeared to be deserted, he expected to discover that one of the crew or a passenger had wandered in. What he had not expected to see was a young man, not much more than a boy, in a school uniform standing across from him.

“Who are you?” the Doctor said, instantly curious. The young man looked startled by the question, but only for a second. Then, the Doctor watched him engage in a momentary struggle to control his demeanor.

“I’m Turlough, sir,” he finally said with a carefully crafted smile. “I’m terribly glad to find you here. I was starting to think I was all alone.”

Turlough held out his hand which the Doctor shook. It was well-hidden, but he could sense trepidation lurking behind Turlough’s pleasant manner. No, not just trepidation…fear. But what was he afraid of, exactly?

“Hello Turlough,” he replied cheerfully. “I’m the Doctor. And don’t worry. You’re certainly not alone. And you’re quite safe here in the TARDIS. And…and by the way, how did you happen to end up here?”

Another flicker of uncertainty appeared in Turlough’s eyes which disturbed the Doctor. It was almost as if Turlough felt the need to calculate every single word and gesture.

“I was walking on the grounds of my school with my friend,” Turlough answered. “And then suddenly, this large, grey capsule appeared. Hippo…that’s my friend….he was scared and ran off to find the Headmaster.”

“But you weren’t afraid?” the Doctor asked, intrigued by how Turlough would answer this.

“Well, it did startle me,” Turlough replied. “But it didn’t seem like something that would harm me in any way, so I moved closer to get a better look at it. A door opened and I was curious so I went inside. I’d never seen anything like it. I saw what looked like controls and I couldn’t stop myself from trying a couple out to see what would happen. Next thing I knew, I ended up on this ship. I wandered around and found this police box. Well, you can imagine how surprised I was to find all of this in it.”

The Doctor watched Turlough while the young man recited his story. He was fairly certain that Turlough had given him the basics of what probably happened. However, he also believed that Turlough was giving those events a very different context than what they originally had.

One thing was clear in the Doctor’s mind right away: whatever Turlough was afraid of, it wasn’t that he had been whisked away by a transmat capsule to some strange ship. He’d had enough experience with humans to recognize when they were overwhelmed by alien surroundings. Also, it was more than a little implausible that Turlough just happened to work the controls in such a way to lead him back to the capsule’s point of origin.

Then there was the fact that, when he had run into the TARDIS, the Doctor had noted that Turlough was studying the control panels not as someone who had no idea what they were, but with the practiced demeanor of someone looking for the basics such as the ignition and directional controls….someone who had had experience with space craft before.

No, no matter how much Turlough seemed to want to pass himself off as a lost school boy from present-day Earth, the Doctor was positive that was not the case. In fact, the longer he was around Turlough, the more he became suspicious that the young man was not even human. The hints were very subtle, and he doubted that most humans would have ever suspected it. Nevertheless, the Doctor noticed little details: a split second difference in how often Turlough blinked, a fractionally different rhythm to his breathing, a trace of an accent not native to Earth hidden behind a masterful imitation of a British one. 

 _‘Alien then…but living on Earth and attending school with humans while pretending to be one of them,’_ he mused. _‘But why? And why would he risk his cover by operating the transmat capsule? Do his people have something to do with the spaceship?’_

“Indeed,” the Doctor nodded, making sure to keep his tone neutral. He was about to ask another more direct question, but paused instead. As much as he wanted to know who Turlough really was and what he was doing here, he was still unsure of what Turlough was afraid of. Of him? Of exposure? Or was there something…or someone…else?

The Doctor immediately discarded the question he had in mind. He was pretty sure Turlough would just give him another lie and the last thing he needed right now were more lies which would only further obscure the truth. For now, the best thing to do was play along.

Play along and maybe lessen some of that fear.

For starters, he gave Turlough an encouraging smile. “Well, I’m afraid we’re all in a bit of a spot right now,” the Doctor told him. “And I could use your help. If you’re up for it.”

“Certainly,” Turlough said, his features brightening marginally. “What do you need me to do?”

 _‘That’s the spirit,’_ the Doctor thought as he grinned again. He imagined that Turlough might relish the chance to use his intellect in a way he wouldn’t have been able to while hiding in a boy’s school on Earth.

Besides that, the Doctor figured he probably could use Turlough’s help if his guesses about the young man’s capabilities were true.

“Well, for starters you can….”

“Doctor? Doctor, are you in there?”

The Doctor glanced over to see Nyssa and Tegan rush into the TARDIS. Their expressions of concern immediately changed to confusion. Most likely over their guest.

“Doctor,” Nyssa said, taking a step forward. “What…?”

“Please hold that thought for just a moment, Nyssa,” he said. Then he turned back to Turlough. “That is Nyssa and Tegan. And…I’ll be back in a second.”

He knew that his leaving was abrupt, but while talking to Turlough, he remembered some equipment that could help him sort out this mess with the transmat beam. It wasn’t until that very second that he remembered where they were and the Doctor figured he better fetch them as soon as he thought of it.

As he walked back out into the console room, the Doctor introduced Turlough to them and told them Turlough had appeared from the transmat capsule. As usual, Tegan was immediately suspicious.

“From Earth?” she said.

“The capsule just appeared,” Turlough said blandly. “It was very strange.”

The Doctor sighed inwardly. It appeared that Turlough was going to persist in his lying. It was disappointing, but the Doctor couldn’t get too upset about it yet. Not until he knew more about Turlough’s situation.

He also decided that it would be better to keep his conclusions and suspicions about Turlough to himself for now. Which was why he didn’t object when Turlough begged to come with him in the transmat capsule.

 _‘It’d be easier for me to keep an eye on him,’_ he reasoned. _‘And if he does have…less than positive motives, it’d be better to keep him away from Nyssa and Tegan.’_

The Doctor trotted over to the capsule and set the coordinates for Earth. Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor noted that Turlough was watching him work, clearly interested and most certainly absorbing every scrap of information he could.

As worrying as his current problems were, the Doctor continued to be concerned about the young man accompanying him. Their meeting might have been an interesting coincidence, but the Doctor doubted that. There were too many unlikely events happening at once. Something else was probably at work, manipulating these events. He just couldn’t see what it was at that moment.

Still, no matter what mechanisms had caused them to meet, the Doctor was sure that there was trouble behind them. Whether it was for himself or Turlough or both of them, he didn’t know. Something was causing the skittishness that Turlough was trying desperately to hide though and the Doctor wished he could get to the bottom of it.

The Doctor frowned as he walked outside and got out his equipment to start looking for the beam transmitter. As soon as the TARDIS was free, he would start to work on solving the mystery of who Turlough was, what he was up to, and just how much trouble the young man was in.

He just hoped that it would all turn out to be as easy to solve as this problem with the transmat capsule and warp ellipse. Or at the very least, it wouldn’t be something that got Tegan too upset.


	2. Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a little while after "Black Orchid".

“Tegan, why are wearing your costume again?”

Tegan turned from the mirror to see Nyssa standing in the doorway. “I don’t know. It’s just….” She turned back toward the mirror, swaying from side to side so the skirt twirled. “It’s such a lovely dress, inn’t it? And I had so much fun in it. Besides, I need a break from that uniform once in a while.”

“Yes, I understand,” Nyssa said, a smile appearing on her lips. “It was fun. And quite remarkably, really. How much Ann looked like me.”

“That was a crazy coincidence, wasn’t it?” Tegan said, smiling back at Nyssa’s reflection behind her. “Bet you never thought you’d run into your twin on twentieth century Earth.”

“You’re right.” Nyssa stepped into the room and stood next to Tegan. “That hadn’t occurred to me at all. I suppose it could support the idea that genetic configurations also follow the rules of probability like so many other things do.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that it was inevitable that there would be someone who looked just like me somewhere in the universe,” Nyssa answered. “Although the chances of me meeting said person were astronomical. Adric could give you the exact odds better than I could.”

“I’m sure he could,” Tegan said with a slight frown. “But no thank you. It’s not like the numbers would mean that much to me anyway.”

Tegan turned around in front of the mirror one more time before stopping and moving to sit down onto the bed. Nyssa sat down next to her, concerned about the look that appeared in Tegan’s eyes.

“Tegan? Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tegan said, her words coming out in a rush. “I was just thinking about that whole thing. The Doctor playing cricket. Adric stuffing himself at the buffet table.”

“Oh yes,” Nyssa said, rolling her eyes. “He certainly made a pig of himself.”

“That’s just what teenage boys do though,” Tegan snorted. “They need all that energy to be so sure of themselves.” She ran her palm along her knee. “I was also thinking about the party. Wearing costumes and dancing the Charleston.”

“Yes. You were right, Tegan. It might not be as graceful as the dances I learned on Traken, but the Charleston was a lot of fun. And you are quite good at it.”

“Thank you,” Tegan said, grinning at her. “I practiced for weeks to get it right. Nice to see it was good for more than trying to impress Alan McLern from my biology class.”

Nyssa nodded, reaching into the open box to grab a corner from her own costume.

“What I’m trying to say is…that whole mad adventure we just had,” Tegan continued. “It all felt so…strange, didn’t it?”

Nyssa’s brows furrowed. “Strange? Yes, I suppose it did at first. I’d never been to a cricket match or a costume ball. Neither had Adric, I imagine. Still, it was no stranger than any of the other experiences we’ve had while traveling in the TARDIS.”

“That’s just it,” Tegan replied. “It felt strange to me too. And it shouldn’t. Not to me. Maybe I didn’t grow up in the twenties, but I’d been to parties before. I’ve been to cricket matches and talked to people about the weather and food and the cute outfit I saw someone wearing.”

Tegan stood back up and walked closer to the mirror so all she could see was the dress she was wearing. “Even when I was having fun, in the back of my mind I was thinking how weird it all was. I kept expecting an alien to crash down onto the back lawn or for one of the guests to turn out to be a robot or something. And when we saw what had happened to poor George…I thought for sure that the Doctor was going to say that some alien parasite or weird machine had caused it.”

“That would have been a reasonable guess,” Nyssa said. “But looking back on it, George didn’t show any symptoms of disease. If I had had more time to actually think about it, I probably would have assumed a genetic mutation. Or deliberate mutilation by someone else which sadly did turn out to be the correct theory.”

Nyssa stood and walked over to stand next to Tegan. “Were you disappointed that there was no non-Terran elements involved?”

“No, I was relieved,” Tegan blurted out. “For once, some awful alien wasn’t ruining everything.”

Tegan looked like she was about to say something more, but her expression immediately softened and became contrite. “Nyssa, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I….”

“That’s all right, Tegan,” Nyssa assured her. “I understood what you meant.”

“No, it isn’t all right,” Tegan insisted, her hands curling into loose fists. “You’re my friend. So’s the Doctor. And Adric when he’s not being a complete drongo.” She let out a long sigh as her hands relaxed and smoothed down her skirt.

“I’m just not comfortable with all these familiar things becoming weird to me, that’s all,” she added. “Is that what traveling around in this crate is doing to me? Making me become an outsider even on Earth?”

“You’re not an outsider, Tegan,” Nyssa said. “You’re always one of us. And when you finally do return to Earth and to your own time, I’m sure you will feel like part of that world again.”

Tegan went back to the bed and plopped down. She propped an arm onto her knee, her chin resting on the heel of her hand. “Really? I’m not so sure of that.”

Nyssa sat down next to her again and pulled more of her costume out of the box, studying the blue and purple hues of the fabric. The colors reminded her of birds on Traken. They would sing quiet, almost mournful songs in the mornings as the sun rose.

“Perhaps it’s simply a matter of perspective,” Nyssa offered.

“Perspective? What do you mean?”

 “I mean, right now, you see Earth, its people and its cultures and history from the perspective of a visitor. Because that is what you are right now. You’re not part of the experience other Earthlings have. You have your own unique experience. But experience doesn’t erase who you are. Not unless you choose for it to do so.”

Nyssa placed a hand on Tegan’s arm. “You’re no less from Earth now than you were before. Just as I’m still from Traken no matter where I go. It’s only your perspective that’s changed. It’s not necessarily good or bad or the end of anything. It’s simply different.”

She sat the fabric down as Tegan shifted on the bed so they could face each other. “When you do return to Heathrow, I imagine you’ll have a new appreciation for your world and the life you have there. I like to believe though, that you’ll have enough room in your heart for your time here with us as well.”

Tegan put her hand over Nyssa’s and smiled at her. She didn’t acknowledge it out loud, but she had an inkling of how much it cost Nyssa to tell her some of these things. Tegan wished she could be as generous of a friend.

“Thank you,” she said again. It didn’t feel like enough, but the look in Nyssa’s eyes seemed to indicate that maybe it was.

For a moment, Tegan was unsure of what to do. Then she spotted the dress that Nyssa had partially pulled out of the box.

“Hey, you should change too. We could have a party here. On the TARDIS. We’ve certainly got enough room for it. And besides, we’ve got unfinished business. Neither one of us got a chance to dance with the Doctor.”

“That’s right,” Nyssa said, her face brightening. “He missed the whole party when he got lost in the corridors of the Cranleighs’ house.”

“Serves him right though for being worse than a cat with his curiosity,” Tegan chuckled. “You think he’s much of a dancer?”

“The Doctor has many talents,” Nyssa shrugged. Then another smile appeared on her face. “Though I have my doubts that dancing is one of them.”

“Yeah, and I bet Adric could use some help too.”

“Oh Adric was all right. For a beginner.”

“Maybe, but he better learn to be more than ‘all right’,” Tegan nodded sagely. “Especially if he decides to grow up and go on a date or whatever it is that people from Alzarius do with someone special.”

“I agree,” Nyssa said with a prim nod of her own. “He could also stand to learn to take instruction now and again.”

Tegan laughed and jumped up to grab her purse so she could put a little makeup on. It wouldn’t be much of a party if she didn’t try to look and feel her best. Then again, with the Doctor’s eccentricities and Adric’s awkwardness, it might not be much of a party anyway.

No matter what though, Tegan was sure that their little party wouldn’t be boring. And that was as familiar of a feeling as she needed right now.


	3. Scenic Route

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place shortly after Enlightenment and Mawdryn Undead.
> 
> I promise, that will make more sense by the end. XD

Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart sighed and scrutinized the papers in front of him again.

 He was in the middle of grading the midterm exams and for the most part, there had been no resounding successes among them. No perfect scores or even near perfect ones. Also there were still the usual utter failures from the students who did not seem to find any reason to care about the education.

Nevertheless, there was some improvement in the class averages and improvement was still improvement. Alistair figured he would have to continue to build on the modest successes he had had so far this year.

He had just finished writing some comments on the latest paper when a sound just outside his lodgings caught his attention. A familiar sound that brought a smile to his face. He waited about a minute before finally calling out.

“Come in, Doctor.”

A few seconds later, the door opened and a young man with blond hair and a wide smile walked in. _‘So, it’s the latest one again,’_ Alistair thought as he rose out of his chair to meet him.

“Brigadier,” the Doctor grinned at him, reaching over to shake Alistair’s hand.

“Good to see you again, Doctor,” Alistair replied. He waved a hand at the couch so they could sit down next to each other. “What brings you back this time? Not another alien attempting to impersonate you, I hope.”

“No, no, nothing like that,” the Doctor said. “I just came by to make sure there were no ill effects from running into your earlier self.”

“Yes, I suppose that was a close shave. But as you can see, I’m as fit as a fiddle. By the way, how are your companions? Tegan and Nyssa?” The smile fell from the Doctor’s face, a detail that Alistair did not fail to notice.

“Tegan is fine,” the Doctor said. “She’s on holiday on a lovely planet just a few years into your past.”

“I can’t say I blame her for that. Traveling with you is bound to be chaotic at the very least. A holiday should do her a world of good.

“Nyssa…she’s no longer traveling,” the Doctor said, his voice slow and hesitant.  “She…found a place where she felt she belonged.”

Alistair frowned. A definite chance came over the Doctor’s demeanor as he spoke about Nyssa. There was a sadness that he hadn’t seen in the Doctor’s eyes ever since his exile on Earth had ended during his third incarnation. It disquieted him, but Alistair figured that it was best to not pry into something that might be best left alone.

Besides, he had another matter of his own that he needed to discuss with the Doctor.

“By the way, Doctor. That young man, Turlough. You did say that he made it off Mawdryn’s ship unharmed.”

“Yes,” the Doctor said, suddenly becoming more animated again. “He’s on holiday with Tegan, actually. I thought it would be good for him after some of our recent adventures.”

Alistair noted how the Doctor had mentioned “adventures”, but didn’t comment on it. Although, for a moment, he wondered just how many places the Doctor had been to in the week since he had last seen him.

“Quite,” he said. “However, I hope you haven’t forgotten that he is still on the rolls here at Brendon. So far, I’ve been able to account for his absence the same way you are, Doctor. By saying that he’s on holiday. But that won’t last for long. He will be missed eventually.”

The Doctor’s face suddenly became solemn. “I can’t bring him back, Brigadier. Turlough doesn’t belong here.”

“Well, I admit that he does have problems with fitting in, but I hardly think….”

“You don’t understand,” the Doctor interrupted. “Turlough is not of your Earth. He was brought here. Against his will, I suspect. He wants to go home.”

“You mean…alien?” Alistair said. The Doctor nodded his head. “Well then. That does explain a lot. I always knew that there was something…different about the boy.”

“I know that finding a way to explain this might create some complications for you and your fellow staff members at the school,” the Doctor added. “But I had hoped you could understand why I can’t force Turlough to stay here when this is not his home.”

“Of course,” Alistair said. “Quite understandable. As for complications, I may have retired from UNIT, but I still have plenty of contacts there. They will make the necessary arrangements to explain his disappearance. As a matter of fact, it will be easier to do this for Turlough than it might for most other people.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well the only people who have actually asked about Turlough are that boy, Ibbotson and the solicitor who had arranged for Turlough to attend this school. Very odd chap that man is too.”

“I see,” the Doctor nodded. “Well, I’ll leave it in your capable hands, Brigadier. Oh and by the way, Turlough wanted to inform you that Ibbotson wasn’t the one who wrecked your car and that he was the one responsible for that chemistry lab accident with the acid.”

Alistair’s mouth fell open as he slapped the arm of his chair with his palm. “I knew it. I knew that Turlough was the one who was really responsible for that fiasco, but I couldn’t prove it. Until now that is.”

“Yes,” the Doctor said. “Anyway, Turlough was hoping that you could arrange it so that his misdeeds would not get Ibbotson expelled. I think he is trying to make amends for his behavior of late.”

“That’s not much of an apology though,” Alistair frowned. “He should have told me himself. And apologized to Ibbotson in person.”

“Perhaps so,” the Doctor replied. “But that would have meant bringing him back here to Brendon and I’m afraid he might have taken that as a breach of trust.”

“I suppose you have a point,” Alistair said. “All right, Doctor. I’ll make sure that Ibbotson is taken care of as well. I just hope that young man will learn to make better choices in his friends after this.”

“I doubt he’ll run into anyone quite like Turlough again,” the Doctor said with a rueful smile. He stood up and shook Alistair’s hand again. “It was good to see you again, Brigadier. But now, I must dash. I imagine Tegan is about finished with her vacation. I’m fairly certain Turlough will be.”

“Just a moment, Doctor. Might I have one last word with you about Turlough?”

The Doctor cocked his head to the side as he sat back down. Alistair could tell that he had piqued the Doctor’s curiosity, a surefire way to get his attention.

“If this is still about having him stay, my mind is….”

“No, no of course not,” Alistair assured him. “If he is indeed alien, then by all means, he should be allowed to leave. And I suspect that you are correct about his being brought here against his will. That solicitor I told you about, the one who handled Turlough’s admission to the school along with the boy’s finances? Turlough never did seem at ease around him. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that Turlough despised him. He never wanted to be left alone in the same room with him and often refused to see him.”

“I see,” the Doctor said with a nod. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, Brigadier, I suspect that you won’t have to deal with this solicitor much longer. Once he realizes that Turlough is gone, I imagine he will pull a disappearing act of his own.”

“You’re probably right,” Alistair said. “By the way, did I hear you correctly that you are planning on taking the boy home?”

There was a flicker of something Alistair thought he recognized, but couldn’t quite place in the Doctor’s eyes. “It’s what Turlough wants. Why?”

“I was just thinking. This whole business with Mawdryn made me realize that there was a great deal I had forgotten about these last few years. One of them was something Turlough had said to me about a month after he started classes here. I had mentioned contacting his parents about a concern I had, and he said that they were dead. That he had no family, no one he belonged to.”

“That was probably part of his cover,” the Doctor replied.

“You weren’t there when he said it,” Alistair said. “I know that Turlough has a tendency to lie about himself and about the things that he’s done. But when he said that, the way that he said it…Doctor, it’s one of the very few times I was convinced that Turlough was telling me the whole truth. That boy has no one. On this world or any other.”

The Doctor nodded silently while Alistair leaned forward, lacing his fingers.

“Turlough is many things, Doctor. He’s selfish, devious, cowardly and can be quite cruel if he puts his mind to it. However, he is also highly intelligent, doggedly determined and quite adaptable. I also believe that there is something more to him beneath the surface. Don’t ask me to define it. I doubt I could. But whatever it is, it is telling me that he has the potential to be an exceptional young man. If someone could reach him and give him the correct guidance.”

He leaned forward, making sure to meet the Doctor’s gaze. “It’s your TARDIS, your travels, so it would be your decision, of course. But I do ask that you consider it.”

“You mean take Turlough with me on my travels?” the Doctor said. “Make him one of my companions? Impossible. Turlough has already said that he wishes to go home. I can’t make him stay if he doesn’t want to.”

For a moment, Alistair considered letting the matter end there. After all, the Doctor would be responsible for Turlough if he went through with it. If the Doctor wasn’t willing, then it wouldn’t be advisable at all. But then he saw that flicker again, and Alistair was finally able to place it. It was hope. Hope that was being besieged by doubt and regret.

It was then that Alistair was certain of what he needed to do.

“Of course, if that is what the boy wants, then you should take him home,” he said. “You know more about these matters than I do. However, having talked to some of your past companions, I gathered the impression that a journey in your TARDIS is usually not as simple as going from point A to point B. That perhaps you get rather sidetracked.”

“Side tracked? Is that what they said?” the Doctor replied with what could only be called a pout. “I’m certain that they exaggerated.”

“Judging from my own experiences in your TARDIS, I doubt they embellished as much as you might think,” Alistair smirked at him. “At any rate, when taking Turlough home, might I suggest taking the ‘scenic route’?”

“Scenic route?”

“Quite. Perhaps a leisurely journey is just what the boy needs. A chance to gain a different perspective on things. After all, I believe it was you who told me that travel broadens the mind. Besides, you are always telling me that you can arrive at any point in time in your craft. So it’s not as if you couldn’t get Turlough to where he wanted to go no matter when you decided to do so.”

The Doctor looked at him with an expression of disbelief at first, but then a twinkle appeared in his eyes followed by a smile. Then he hopped up to his feet. Alistair stood up as well.

“Goodbye, Brigadier,” he said, shaking his hand again. “I will take what you’ve said under advisement. And thank you for your help, as always.”

“Of course,” Alistair said with a smile of his own. “Goodbye Doctor. I’m sure I will you see you again before too long. Safe travels….well, as safe as possible for you, that is.”

The Doctor gave him another mock scowl before waving goodbye and rushing out of the cabin. A few seconds later, Alistair heard the usual wheeze of the TARDIS taking off.

He chuckled and sat back down to his papers. He would have to make a few phone calls tomorrow, but he didn’t mind. Despite what the Doctor had said, Alistair was certain that there would be no “taking under advisement” for his suggestion. The Doctor had already made up his mind in regards to Turlough.

Alistair just hoped that he was right about Turlough and that the boy would be equal to the experiences he was sure to be in for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to write this by a couple of things. 
> 
> 1\. That little semi-guilty/semi-shifty expression Five has at the beginning of The King's Demons when Turlough notes that he landed on Earth yet again. That's on top of how he completely ignored Turlough at the end when he tried to remind the Doctor that they were supposed to be going to his home planet.  
> 2\. That little smirk the Doctor has at the beginning of Warriors of the Deep when Turlough left the room after announcing that he had decided to stay on the TARDIS after all.
> 
> In my head canon, that was the Doctor's plan all along: to see if he could convince Turlough to stay by delaying his arrival to Trion. I suppose you could say it was similar for Tegan, but I swear, Five wasn't even trying to get Turlough back home. XD   
> Thus, this chapter is my attempt to explain why he might have done that.


	4. Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place just after Warriors of the Deep. It's also somewhat of a sequel to chapter four (Battle Remnants) from my Snark and Ginger fic.
> 
> However, reading that is not 100% required to read this chapter. It just gives a little more context....

Once in a while, the Doctor wondered if his current regeneration had been a failure after all.

It was something that occurred to him when he realized how much his companions chose to not listen to him. When they were arguing with him. With each other. When they were running off when he warned them not to and getting into terrible trouble. Were the people he’d traveled with before always this difficult? Was it so hard to get Steven or Leela or Zoe to listen to him?

Perhaps his companions had frequently been willful. The Doctor couldn’t really be sure in that moment. Maybe it wasn’t so much that his companions had been independent as he was no longer able to lead them like he had in other incarnations. It was hard to think objectively when his failures were so fresh in his mind.

_Failures like what he had allowed to happen to the Silurians and Sea Devils. To the humans at the sea base…_

_Failures like what happened to Adric….to Nyssa…._

_Or when the thoughts that he knew weren’t his own invaded his brain._

The Doctor gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. Protocols, launch sequences, contingency plans and battle scenarios: they all flooded his mind, shoving his own thoughts away. It was a side effect of his clumsy, heavy-handed synchronization with the sea base’s computer. He knew it was. He knew it would eventually pass. He knew his Time Lord mental defenses would eventually kick in and dismantle and discard the information he’d been force-fed.

That knowledge, however, did not lessen the pain he felt as his mind struggled to remain separate and autonomous from the computer’s programming. A pain that was accentuated by his temples being singed when he triggered the short circuit mechanism.

Still, some irrational part of him he normally kept buried deep in his psyche was convinced that the pain and struggle he was experiencing was partially due to weaknesses inherent in his incarnation.

The Doctor leaned back in his chair and sighed. After it was all over, after the missiles had been stopped and the Silurians and Sea Devils were all dead, Tegan and Turlough helped him back to the TARDIS. Turlough had contacted someone to inform them about what had happened at the sea base while Tegan had found his cricketer outfit and had it laundered so she could help him back into it.

Once Turlough was done on the base, he’d helped the Doctor to TARDIS sick bay and treated the burns on his face while Tegan set up a lounge chair in the console room with pillows and a blanket so the Doctor could rest when he wasn’t actively piloting the TARDIS.

Throughout this process, the Doctor had tried to shrug them off, insisting that they didn’t need to fuss over him so much. Eventually, he’d managed to shoo them out of the console room so he could have some time to himself. Originally, he’d planned to do some additional maintenance on the navigational controls as a way to center his mind. However, after pre-programming the TARDIS to take a leisurely journey though the Vortex, the Doctor discovered that it had been a battle just to keep his thoughts clear long enough to accomplish that relatively simple chore.

As much as he loathed the thought of being inactive right now, the Doctor was still pragmatic enough to admit that it wouldn’t be a good idea to fiddle with delicate TARDIS mechanisms while having his thoughts constantly interrupted by random military data.

Thus, why he was currently leaning back in this lounge chair, his head resting on one of the pillows. He had settled in with a deep scowl on his face and a petulant determination to relax as little as possible while he worked to purge himself of the programming.

The Doctor frowned even more and closed his eyes. He disliked being fussed over and forcing his companions to take care of him. That was his job. To watch over them. To protect them during their travels. To help them through any injuries or problems they were facing. It felt wrong to have those roles reversed.

Especially since it had happened before.

_After regenerating…Nyssa and Tegan caring for him….worrying over him…when he should have been minding the TARDIS and searching for Adric…._

_When Borusa scooped up his other selves into the Death Zone…Tegan and Turlough practically carrying him into the TARDIS….encouraging him and holding onto him so he wouldn’t fade away…when he should have been working out a way to escape the Death Zone and making sure that his companions were safe…._

_And Adric…and Nyssa…both of them sacrificing themselves because the dire situations they’d been in were beyond his ability to solve them…when he should have been the one making that sacrifice…._

The Doctor’s frown softened as his melancholy grew. His previous incarnation would have never permitted any of this to happen. That wandering bohemian was too clever, too bold in his thinking. Mad and completely confident within his madness. None of his friends had died during his watch.

 _‘So…it’s self pity now,’_ the Doctor thought bitterly. _‘Something else I can add to my shortcomings of late….’_

**_‘Protocol One Alpha Six Five Delta: Target missiles approaching from Axis Point Seven. Launch sequence Zero Two Five One Nine. Counterattack strategy Red Five…’_ **

The Doctor gripped the arms of his chair, his fingers shaking and his knuckles turning white. The programming was seeping into his thoughts at a higher rate as they tried to integrate themselves back into the meaningful patterns they were designed for.  His mind throbbed as it rebelled against this invasion of his inner self.

_‘No…I must keep it out….must focus. Focus on…focus on…on….’_

Unable to expend any more energy toward conscious thought, the Doctor allowed himself to pass out.

* * *

 

When he opened his eyes, the Doctor blinked in surprise over his surroundings.

He was sitting in the sync operator’s chair in the sea base, still wearing the helmet that helped him link his mind to the computer.

_‘Ah of course. That is why I kept sensing the computer’s data in my mind. I was still here. I must have visualized myself completing my task as a way to keep my conscious mind isolated as much as possible from the computer. Oh…that was very clever of me, if I do say so myself….’_

_‘But did it work? Was I able to stop the missiles?’_

The Doctor pushed the helmet out of his way and stood, his legs wobbling as he did it. He ended up having to grasp nearby furniture and fixtures whenever he could to maintain his balance. Eventually, he stumbled over to the computer console across from him and peered around the body of a Silurian who was slumped over part of it.

_‘Yes. Yes, it worked. The human race survived anyway….for now….until they attempt some other petty, stupid method that threatens their existence as a species….’_

The Doctor leaned heavily against the console, bitterness welling up inside him as he surveyed the dead bodies scattered about.

_‘So many dead…and for what? For nothing….a waste….’_

The Doctor’s temples ached and burned. As much as he was loathe to admit it, he knew he’d probably need help to get back to the TARDIS. He opened his mouth to call out for Tegan and Turlough’s assistance.

He remained silent, however, when he realized that there were nowhere in sight.

“Turlough?” he said, dismayed at how weak he sounded. “Tegan?” There was no response.

The Doctor frowned. He was certain that his companions had come with him back to the bridge. _“Doctor, you’ll need some help.”_ That’s what Tegan had said and Turlough seemed to agree with her.

So where were they?

_‘Did something happen while my mind was interfaced with the computer? Maybe some of the Silurians or Sea Devils had survived. No, impossible. The hexachromite gas would have killed them for certain unless they were immediately treated.’_

_‘Still…if any of them managed to survive for more than a minute or two…I must speak to Vorshak….’_

He started to pull himself away from the console when he spotted Vorshak’s body splayed onto the console next to him. The Doctor could tell from where he was standing that Vorshak was dead.

The Doctor slid down to sit on the floor. There, he could see that Icthar was also dead.

_‘Two leaders trying to do what they thought best for their people….both of them swayed too far by the extremes of their ideology…both of them gone now….’_

Another flash of pain coursed through the Doctor’s brain, causing him to groan and close his eyes again. He needed to get back to the TARDIS so he could rest and focus on expelling the computer’s programming from his mind. Far more importantly, he needed to find Tegan and Turlough. With needless death and destruction all around him, he needed to know that they were safe.

Slowly, the Doctor climbed to his feet and resumed his stumbling about to search for them. He had almost headed toward the corridor when he spied a high heel shoe on the floor.

Hearts pounding, the Doctor rushed over to find Tegan dead, strangled by a Silurian who still had its hands around her throat. The oxygen mask nearby told the rest of the story. Tegan had revived the Silurian with oxygen like the Doctor had requested, and the Silurian had responded by killing her as a way to avenge itself on some random “ape-primitive.”

The Doctor gingerly extracted her from the Silurian’s grip. Tegan had been his reluctant traveler. One who had always seemed unsure about traveling through time and space even when she agreed to come with him the second time they met on Earth. One who had an unshakable loyalty to him even with her jabs and jokes at his expense. Tegan had always been able to see the important things he had missed even when they were right in front of his face. She was the embodiment of what both exasperated him about humans and yet deeply endeared them to him at the same time.

He ran a hand along her cheek and laid her down onto the floor. He wouldn’t leave her here to be disposed of as nameless victim. He would take her back to her own time and find somewhere peaceful for her remains. In the state he was in though, he knew he’d need Turlough’s help to move her.

That plan was dashed to pieces seconds later when he found Turlough’s body in a corner of the room behind the sync operator’s post.

The Doctor stood up and walked dully over to where Turlough was. It wasn’t hard to see what had happened here either. A Sea Devil was dead on the floor across from him, his weapon pointed at the chair the Doctor had been sitting in. And so Turlough…who had originally came onto the TARDIS as part of a plot to assassinate him…had shot the Sea Devil and saved his life.

Sacrificing himself in the process.

The ache in his hearts increased. From the beginning, the Doctor knew that he had his faults, but he was convinced that Turlough was a good person at the core. He had hoped that, by bringing him along on his travels rather than taking him home, Turlough could move on from an unspoken past that seemed to haunt him and could grow into the potential the Doctor was certain he possessed.

Instead, he’d led Turlough into a pointless battle that couldn’t be won. And that growth and the friendship the Doctor had been trying to nurture had sealed Turlough’s fate.

The Doctor sat back down, unable to walk another step. Both of his companions were gone. Dead. And it was his fault. Just like….

_‘Doctor…why Doctor? I just wanted to go home….’_

The Doctor’s eyes darted over to see Adric and Nyssa standing across from him, their eyes blank and yet accusing.

“Adric? Nyssa? No…no you can’t be here. You’re….”

**_‘Attack Scenario Four X Seven Dash Nine: Missiles approaching from South Central Base….’_ **

The Doctor pressed his knuckles against the sides of his head. The backwash from the computer was fragmenting in his mind, random bits of data submerging his thoughts in one last wave. It was agony, but he was close to purging them.

Right now, he needed a way to ground his mind. A link to his essential self.

He needed his companions. But there were dead. Killed because he couldn’t protect them.

_‘No…I should have prevented this…I must stop this…Tegan….Turlough….’_

_“Doctor? Doctor, what is it? What’s wrong? Doctor….”_

_‘Tegan, Turlough…you’re here…I must…Must….’_

_“Doctor! Doctor, wake up. Come on, Doctor.”_

_‘Tegan, Turlough…don’t let go…I must….’_

_“Doctor!”_

* * *

 

The Doctor’s eyes snapped own, a gasp escaping his lips. It only took seconds for him to become fully conscious so he could see two anxious faces hovering near him and could feel how each of them had one of his hands in their own.

“Doctor?” Tegan asked, her voice far softer than usual. “Are you all right?”

The Doctor nodded mutely. He worked to calm his heartbeats and his breathing while making sure to keep a firm grip on his companions’ hands.

_‘Alive. Alive and safe. It hadn’t happened that way….’_

The Doctor sat up straighter in his chair. No, it hadn’t happened exactly that way, but far too much of it had been real. So many had died and the repercussions would be long lasting across more than one culture. No, so much of it had still gone wrong, and it was sure to prey on his mind for a while.

But his companions…his friends…were still here. He’d protected them at least, and he tried to draw comfort from that.

He only allowed himself one more moment to reflect before another interesting fact distracted him: the pain in his head had finally dissipated.

“Doctor, what happened?” Turlough asked. The Doctor noted that Turlough’s thumb was rubbing the back of his hand, a surprisingly affectionate gesture that managed to finally coax a smile out of him.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” the Doctor said. “Just some temporary side effects from my interface with the sea base’s computer.”

“Nothing to worry about?” Tegan echoed. “Doctor, you were having a nightmare and we weren’t sure if we were going to be able to wake you up.”

“Sorry about that,” the Doctor said. “I was in the middle of expelling the programming from my brain and it didn’t go as smoothly as I thought it would. It’s over now though. There might be a few stray data strands that will need to be filtered out, but they should be gone in a couple of days. I’m fine now.”

The Doctor watched as Tegan and Turlough gave each other a look of disbelief before focusing their attention back onto him while still holding onto his hands. He could see the suspicion in their eyes and wondered how he had managed to end up traveling with two such cynical companions at the same time.

“I am all right now, I can assure you.”

“You might be conscious, Doctor, but I doubt you’re all right,” Tegan replied. “Hooking your brain up to that computer and then burning it out…that had to have hurt.”

“Well, it wasn’t pleasant,” the Doctor said. “But there’s no lasting damage.”

“Maybe not, but I don’t think it’s smart for you to stop taking it easy just yet,” Tegan said. “You’re not indestructible, like me.”

“Perhaps we should go back to the Eye of Orion,” Turlough suggested. “Or somewhere else where you can stop the TARDIS and focus on recuperation.”

“Turlough, Tegan, please stop fussing,” the Doctor sighed. “The TARDIS will be traveling in the Vortex for a couple of days which will be plenty of time for me to be fully recovered from my experience.”

Tegan and Turlough looked at each other again, a wave of silent communication passing between them. At that moment, the Doctor started to question if it would actually be a good thing for those two to decide to work together all the time.

“Look, Doctor, we know you,” Tegan said. “You’ll put yourself right in the middle of the next crazy situation you see wherever we land next with absolute no thought of what you’ve just been through. And we’re not crazy enough to expect you to change.”

“We are simply asking you to take some time to make sure that you’ve recovered,” Turlough added. “We can help you mind things here or stay out of your way if that’s what you want. We just…we need to be sure too because….” Turlough looked distinctly uncomfortable which Tegan noted with a sympathetic nod.

“Because you’re our friend, Doctor,” she said, finishing his sentence. “And we do worry about you because we care about you.”

The Doctor felt warmth fill both of his hearts. He still disliked his companions troubling themselves over him, but he was grateful for their kind regard for him and could relate to the sentiments that fueled their concerns.

“All right,” he said with a smile. “I’ve been meaning to do some extra work on the propulsion systems anyway. And we did have to cut our vacation short at the Eye of Orion that last time. I suppose a return trip is in order.”

Both Tegan and Turlough nodded in agreement before finally letting go of the Doctor’s hands. The three of them stood up and walked over to the console with the Doctor setting the coordinates into the computer.

The Doctor still felt distressed by what had happened at the sea base, but he knew that the only thing he could do now is learn from it and move forward. For now, that meant focusing on the things and the people he could still treasure.


	5. Auld Lang Syne, Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place some time after The Visitation.

“A Christmas party? Here in the TARDIS?”

The Doctor blinked and studied the expression on Tegan’s face, unsure if it was one of pleasant surprise or the shock that usually preceded a fit of anger. Usually directed at him.

“Yes,” he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “We’ve had some rather harrowing adventures of late and I’m sure we could all use an opportunity to reflect and have some fun. A Christmas party seemed like just the thing for that.”

“Indeed,” Nyssa nodded. “A chance to relax would be a good thing for us right now.”

“What is ‘Christmas’, Doctor?” Adric asked. Tegan glared at the Doctor and then marched over to Adric.

“You want to know what Christmas is?” she asked. Adric furrowed his brows and glanced over at the Doctor, as if he was seeking assistance, before answering.

“That is why I asked.”

“Well then, I’ll tell you,” Tegan continued. “Christmas is an Earth holiday where family and friends get together and put up decorations and have parties and give each other gifts.”

“I imagine that are those who would say that Christmas is a bit more than that,” the Doctor mumbled, tugging at his ear.

“Christmas is a holiday I could be spending with my family and friends if I could ever get to Heathrow,” Tegan said, ignoring his comment. “But who knows if I’ll ever get to do that again.”

“Of course you will, Tegan,” Adric replied. “I’m sure the Doctor could easily take you back to London during Christmas if that’s what you want.”

Tegan stared at Adric, her mouth slightly open, for almost a minute before abruptly spinning on her heel and storming out of the console room. A few seconds later, all of them flinched as they heard a door slam.

“Perhaps this wasn’t the best suggestion,” the Doctor said quietly.

Nyssa gave him a sympathetic look. “I think it’s a lovely idea, Doctor. From what Tegan has said, it does sound like an intriguing holiday. I’m sure she will warm up to the idea, but I think it’s hard for her sometimes to sort out how she feels about traveling with us when she’s reminded of life on Earth.”

She walked over to the entrance into the corridor. “I am certain that she appreciates what you’re trying to do. Right now, however, I think she needs someone to talk to her.”

“Thank you, Nyssa,” the Doctor said as she left the room.

Once she was gone, the Doctor moved back closer to the console and hunched over the controls. Adric walked over to stand beside him.

“So what else is there to this Christmas, Doctor?”

The Doctor looked over at him with a hint of a smile. “You’d like to know more about Christmas, would you? All right. I think I know just the thing.”

* * *

 

The TARDIS materialized at the back of an alley which faced a bustling street. The sky was grey and bits of snow drifted down with a few flakes catching on the TARDIS doors. As the doors opened up, the Doctor stretched his arms out wide in front of him.

“This is the planet Karias,” he announced. “Its capital is one of the largest merchant centers in this part of the galaxy. Or at least, it will be one of the largest in about a hundred years or so. Even now though, it has one of the most diverse selections of shops you’ll ever see.”

Adric stepped out behind him. He was wearing an anorak over his usual Alzarian clothes. “But Doctor, how will coming here teach me more about an Earth holiday?”

“Well, I’ve already explained the historical and religious background of Christmas and the role it has played in Earth cultures,” the Doctor said.

“Yes, that was confusing,” Adric said with a slight roll of his eyes. “How are humans supposed to celebrate this holiday when they can’t even agree on the meaning of it?”

“Yes well, despite some disagreements about the details and motives for Christmas, Earthlings usually reach a consensus on the essential nature of the holiday,” the Doctor explained. “The need for charity, kindness, a festive atmosphere and a focus on the bonds between people. Christmas is a holiday of hope, Adric. Of cherishing the past while still looking ahead. Do you understand?”

“I believe so,” Adric said. “But I’m still not sure why we’ve come here.”

“For the shopping, of course,” the Doctor grinned. “We need to buy some presents and this is one of the best places to do it. Come to think of it, we might need some decorations as well. And party favors, of course. Some food….”

“But I thought the TARDIS could prepare any food we wanted.”

“It can. But there’s always something to be said about the personal touch, Adric.” The Doctor patted him on the shoulder. “We have lots to do if we’re to have a proper Christmas holiday. And I believe there will be some opportunities for you to learn something important about Christmas along the way. Come along.”

The Doctor dashed toward the busy street in front of him. Adric shrugged and raced after him, making sure to catch up with him before the Doctor got lost in the crowd.

* * *

 

Two hours later, Adric had to admit that this trip with the Doctor had been interesting although it wasn’t the sort of adventure he had gotten used to during his travels.

They had visited all kinds of stores. Stores selling food in a variety of preparations from all over the galaxy and from a couple of neighboring ones. Stores that sold the cheapest costume jewelry alongside rare pieces with price tags that could buy entire countries. There were shops that sold books that were written in dozens of languages on almost any conceivable subject which were displayed on shelves that reached up so high, a person would have to use a hover platform to browse. There were stores that sold electronics and spare parts…which Adric had a particularly hard time dragging the Doctor away from. There were even toy stores which had crowds of children pushing and squirming to get closer to the shop windows so they could see toys that sparkled, whirred, danced and beckoned them.

There had been a lot of browsing and window shopping in this myriad of shops, but the Doctor still managed to acquire an armload of bags that were stuffed with presents and party supplies with Adric carrying a bag of his own. Included in their purchases was one bag of bits and parts which the Doctor claimed would be useful for any needed repairs to the TARDIS. Adric questioned this, however, when he got a glimpse of some of the salvage the Doctor had bought and noted that none of it resembled anything he had ever seen on the TARDIS.

Throughout this shopping trip, Adric had expected to run into some sort of trouble. A kidnapping, an exploding building, an alien invasion. Something which would require the Doctor’s quick wits and his own assistance to fix. But nothing like that happened at all. The worst that had happened was a heated tirade from a shopper who had all six of his arms weighed down by packages…all of which had fallen to the ground when someone had nudged the Doctor a little too hard and to the right.

For a brief moment, Adric thought that it would escalate into trouble, but it was soon smoothed over as the Doctor helped the shopper with his packages and lent a sympathetic ear to the alien’s frustration with festival shopping.

Other than that, it had been an uneventful trip spent looking at things, haggling over prices, and carrying bags around. True, there had been plenty of things to see, but Adric could not understand how anyone could be satisfied with a whole afternoon spent staring at objects without any direct, educational purpose in mind. The result was a creeping sense of boredom which wasn’t helped by the fact that he was also getting hungry.

“Yes, just a couple more places and we should be finished,” the Doctor declared. “Now, I wonder where I put my Christmas decorations in the TARDIS. I hope they weren’t in one of the rooms that were jettisoned. Susan had picked out some of them….”

“Doctor, is this supposed to be part of Christmas too?” Adric asked wearily. “Getting shoved and squeezed into crowds while marching endlessly to a series of stores?”

The Doctor responded to Adric’s grumpiness with a sympathetic smile. “How about a snack before we head back to the TARDIS?” He dug into his pockets and pulled out a card with a gold seal on it. “Here. There should be enough credits on this to cover anything you’d like to buy. And there is a bunch of food stalls right over there. Go get yourself something to eat and while you’re doing that, I can get your present.”

“A present?” Adric said, his eyes lighting up. “For me?”

The smile on the Doctor’s face grew as he patted Adric’s shoulder. “Of course. Now, run along and I’ll meet you back here in, say, thirty minutes? That should be enough time.”

“I know just what I want, Doctor,” Adric said, grinning. “That shop behind the one that….”

“Ah ah,” the Doctor tutted. “I’ve already got something in mind for you. You’ll just have to wait and see what it is.”

“But if I don’t tell you what I want, how will you know if I’ll like it?”

“I suppose I won’t know,” the Doctor mused. “Not for absolutely sure. But this way, it will be a surprise. Now, go get yourself something to eat and I’ll be back momentarily.”

The Doctor took the bag Adric was carrying and draped it onto his other arm before sprinting away leaving Adric to wonder how long “momentarily” would actually end up being. He was soon distracted, however, by the savory and sweet smells coming from the food sellers.

After a few moments of browsing, Adric settled on a bowl of roasted and seasoned melon fruits. He sat down at a small table at the outer edge of the food stalls and started to wolf down his food.

Adric was delighted to discover that the fruit tasted almost like the river fruit on Alzarius. It wasn’t a perfect match, but the flavors were similar enough to fill Adric with a wave of nostalgia. Memories of Varsh, his friends and even details like how the stars sparkled on the marshes at night came back to him.

Adric let out a sigh of contentment as he slowed down his eating. He didn’t regret his decision to travel with the Doctor and leave E-Space behind. Still, every once in a while, he did find himself missing all the familiar aspects of home. Or he started to wish he could be around his own people who treated him like a respected peer rather than as an alien or…even worse…a child. Eating this fruit didn’t make him want to go home, but it was enough of a comforting reminder to help him realize that Alzarius still held many happy memories for him.

When he was finished, Adric was full, but was also contemplating going back to that vendor. He remembered seeing an option on the menu where you could buy a large jar of this fruit which had already been seasoned and cooked. He was certain that he had just enough money left to get a jar which he could take back to the TARDIS. A jar that would be just for him and that he could enjoy whenever he wanted to remember his home planet.

“Please, you have to help me.”

Just as he was about to make his purchase, Adric was distracted by a voice. A voice that belong to a young girl standing a few yards away from him. The girl had on a long pink dress and had long hair which was cornflower blue in color. She was short, probably a child, Adric figured. She was talking to a rough looking man who was sitting behind a counter.

“Look, miss, you haven’t got enough to buy both of ‘em,” the man said. “So just pick one and move on.”

“But I must have them both,” the girl pleaded, holding up a pair of silver cubes. “They’re for my brothers. They’re leaving home tomorrow morning and won’t be back for years.”

“Then just buy one and have them share it,” the man said. “Honestly, how many memory cubes does one family need anyway?”

“But that won’t work,” the girl replied. “They’re going on two different freighter ships.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t lower the price any more,” the man said. “I have family to consider too. I have to think of them.”

The girl’s face fell as she sat the cubes down onto the counter. “Wait!” She took the necklace she was wearing off of her neck which had several pink and purple stones on it. “I can give you this. It’s worth the price of both cubes, surely.”

“I can’t take that,” the man said, frowning. “You’re a Zelian and that’s your birthright necklace. I try and sell that and people will think I killed you for it or some such.”

“But the stones are valuable,” the girl insisted. “I know they are. Please. I need to do this for my brothers. And for my mother.”

Adric looked down at his hand which was holding the plastic card the Doctor had given him. Then he glanced over at the food stall where he had bought the fruit he had just eaten. He thought about the jar of fruit he had wanted to buy and how he could savor it and memories of home for a long time.

But then he thought of Varsh. Of having a brother and wanting to do anything for him. And then Adric knew what he needed to do.

He sighed and marched over to stand next to the girl. He handed over the card to the man behind the counter. “Here. Will this cover the rest?”

The man took the card and waved it over a scanner. “Yeah. Yeah, with the money she has, it will be just enough.” He swiped it against a computer and pulled out a pad of paper. “Here you are, miss. I will write you up a receipt and then fetch the storage boxes and licenses you’ll need to carry this tech. It will just take a minute or two.”

“Thank you,” the girl said. Then she turned to Adric. “And thank you so much. That was so nice, but…I don’t even know your name.”

Adric shrugged. “Does that matter?” The girl looked confused for a moment, her royal blue eyes wide and unblinking, until finally settling on a grin.

“I guess it doesn’t,” she said. She put the necklace back on and gave him a wave with her palm facing toward him. “My name is Winia. It’s nice to meet you, um….”

“Adric,” he said, trying to copy the gesture she just did. “And it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Adric,” she repeated. “I’ve never heard a name like that before. But it’s nice.”

“There you are, miss,” the man said, pushing a sack toward her. “Both of them are ready to use as soon as you turn them on. And they’re guaranteed for at least a century of use.”

“Thank you,” Winia said. “Now my brothers can take all our family history with them and they won’t be alone.” She grabbed the bag and turned back toward Adric.

“I have to go now. I only have a few hours left before my brothers will leave. But thank you again. That was the sweetest thing ever.”

Winia leaned toward Adric and gave him a peck on the cheek before running off. “Goodbye Adric.”

Adric reached up and touched his cheek where she kissed him while silently waving goodbye to her. He was still rather sad about not being able to buy the fruit he wanted, but at that moment, he was certain that he wouldn’t regret the decision he had made here either.

“Ah, Adric, ready to go?”

Adric whirled around to see the Doctor standing behind him with another couple of bags on his arms. He tossed his empty bowl into the recycling machine nearby.

“Sure,” he said. “Are we going back to the TARDIS now?”

“We are,” the Doctor replied. “I’m fairly certain we have everything we need. Come on, I’m sure Tegan and Nyssa are wondering where we’ve been by now.”

“But Doctor, you said we also came here to learn something more about Christmas,” Adric said. “And we didn’t do anything but look at a bunch of things and shopped. Isn’t there something else we should be doing?”

The Doctor grinned and handed Adric a couple of bags before putting an arm around his shoulders. “I think you already know the most important aspects of Christmas, Adric.”  



	6. Auld Lang Syne, Part Two

Back in the TARDIS, Nyssa continued to help Tegan hang decorations onto a Christmas tree in the console room.

It had taken Tegan a while to calm down enough to talk rather than rant, but much like Nyssa had suspected, Tegan wasn’t so much angry at the Doctor as she was confused about her feelings over spending such a familiar Earth holiday in her current surroundings…and in the face of the loss she had recently suffered.

Nyssa picked up a couple of strands of gold tinsel and draped them over a branch. It didn’t take long for the conversation to move on from frustrations with the Doctor to more about Christmas. Tegan had given her numerous additional details about it and about how it was celebrated on Earth. It seemed like a curious, but well-meaning holiday to Nyssa. Something she was sure she could enjoy experiencing for herself at least once.

Especially when Tegan mentioned Christmas being a time for fond remembrances. Nyssa could see an appeal in that which she suspected was the same for Tegan. She thought of her father and of how the Master had tainted all the happy memories she had of him when he stole her father’s body. This holiday seemed like an opportunity to reclaim those memories by putting the emphasis back on the essence of who her father was and on the peaceful life she had growing up on Traken.

The more Tegan talked about Christmas, the more Nyssa could sense her friend’s mood shifting to something more cheerful if also a bit wistful. It was then that Tegan got an idea.

“Hey, you know, the Doctor has all sorts of stuff in this crate. Maybe he’s got some Christmas decorations. We could put them up in the console room.”

Nyssa had agreed to help her search although she had questioned their chances of the Doctor storing decorations on the TARDIS and of their ability to find them in the vastness of the corridors. Nevertheless she walked down the hallways with Tegan, going past the rooms they normally spent time in and searching in places they hadn’t checked before. Nyssa was pleasantly surprised when Tegan discovered a storeroom that had several cardboard boxes with the sort of decorations she had been talking about.

It had taken some work, but now they had a tree sitting in the corner of the console room and some lights draped around the main console. Tegan was currently putting ornaments on the tree while Nyssa focused on scattering bits of tinsel.

“These are very pretty,” Nyssa said, her fingers brushing over a bulb which was painted gold with red swirls. “Are all Christmas decorations like these?”

“Nah, these ones are pretty fancy,” Tegan said, admiring an ornament in her hand that looked like a large ruby. “When I was growing up they weren’t always this nice. A lot of them were cheap glass that fell apart if you looked at them wrong. But when you put them on a tree like this with lights…they were still pretty.”

“I don’t think these ornaments will break so easily,” Nyssa said. She tapped her fingernail around one of them several times. “This is specially treated glass. Probably to prevent shattering.”

“And a good thing too,” Tegan replied. “The way the Doctor drives the TARDIS, one good knock and we’d have nothing but shattered bits on the floor.”

“Tegan, the Doctor is not that terrible at operating the TARDIS,” Nyssa gently scolded. She put the last few strands of tinsel in her hands toward the center of the tree. “And I’m sure he’s trying his best to get you back to Heathrow. But traveling through the eternity of spacetime is very complicated. There are countless variables that can throw the TARDIS off course.”

“Yeah, but why do all those variables happen to me?” Tegan frowned. “I thought he was supposed to be a Time Lord. Shouldn’t his people have all that figured out by now anyway? Why build these TARDIS things if they can’t figure out how to fly them?”

Tegan let out a long sigh and paused to stare at the tree. Then she turned to Nyssa with another attempt at a cheerful smile on her face.

“Maybe the Doctor’s right. Maybe we need this. I guess I was just trying not to think about what Christmas was going to be like when I did get back. Without Aunt Vanessa, I mean. Oh sure, I’ve got other family and friends I’ll spend time with, but how could I talk to them about what happened to her? Or about any of the other mad, terrible, beautiful things I’ve seen? It’s just…none of it will ever be the same, will it?”

Tegan bent down to sift through the cardboard box on the floor next to her. Eventually, she pulled out a golden star with a spiral pedestal to attach it to the tree.

“Maybe it’s just as well I have a Christmas here,” she continued. “To see what it feels like again. So I can have one with all of you before I go home.”

She stretched upward, bending the top branches so she could push the star into place. Once she was done, she stepped back to study her work. Her smile grew a little more when she glanced back at Nyssa.

Nyssa smiled back at her. Tegan was always thinking in terms of when she would return to her home. But Nyssa was all too aware that, for her and Adric…and perhaps even the Doctor…there was no home to return to. The TARDIS was home for now. Even though she imagined that there would be a tie when that would change, Nyssa could only focus on what her life was now rather than what it could have been or might be in the future.

It was then that Nyssa realized that all of them had losses they were carrying. Tegan had lost her aunt. Adric had lost his brother. And for her it was her father and stepmother. Tegan was coping by focusing on getting back to Earth while she and Adric had thrown themselves completely into their travels.

As for the Doctor…

Nyssa firmly believed that someone as old and well traveled as him would know much about loss. She was aware that he had had other companions and even a granddaughter.  She often thought that she could detect an undercurrent of sorrow in the Doctor’s eyes. It never lasted, but it gave a hint to the losses he had endured. Most of the time, he seemed to be determined to fix his attention to his experiences in the present be they happy or sad.

It was one way she felt they were very much alike.

The doors of the TARDIS swung open, and Tegan and Nyssa turned to see the Doctor and Adric stroll in, each of them carrying bulging sacks on their arms.

“Ah Nyssa, Tegan, you found the Christmas decorations,” the Doctor said, beaming. “Excellent. I was rather hoping that they hadn’t ended up too deeply buried into storage.”

“Or jettisoned into space,” Adric added.

“Yes, thank you, Adric,” the Doctor sighed.

Nyssa watched the Doctor’s smile falter. Although he might bring up things like that himself, she had noticed that the Doctor seemed to dislike anyone else discussing anything to do with his recent regeneration. She understood that it had been traumatic for him, but suspected that his discomfort went beyond the obvious physical and behavioral changes.

For a moment, Nyssa wondered what it was like to be a Time Lord experiencing regeneration. Was it like death and rebirth? Was it a change they longed for, dreaded, feared or simply accepted?

“You got us presents?” Tegan said. “Doctor I…but we didn’t get you anything.”

“It’s all right,” the Doctor told her. “Maybe next time. The console room looks very nice. Very festive.”

“Thanks,” Tegan said, smiling back at him. “Say, where did you get all of these Christmas decorations from anyway?”

“Oh here and there,” the Doctor said. He walked over to the tree and motioned for Adric to follow him. He crouched down and began to place packages under the tree while Adric sat the bags he was carrying onto the floor next to him. “Susan was quite fond of Christmas. And some of my other companions enjoyed celebrating it as well.”

“You mean you’ve had other people travel around with you?” Tegan said. “Other people from Earth, I mean.”

“Of course. I am rather fond of Earth and its people after all.”

The Doctor continued to arrange presents under the tree for a few moments more before clapping his hands and standing back up.

“Dinner will be ready in about two hours,” he announced. “I’ll set the TARDIS to prepare a feast in the dining room. In the meantime, how about we find somewhere to land where we can build a snowman?”

* * *

 

Almost two hours later, the four of them had returned from their latest excursion from the TARDIS, and Nyssa contemplated how it probably wasn’t the sort of trip the Doctor had in mind.

It had started out benignly enough. They had landed on a planet referred to as Q75 by the locals. It certainly had plenty of snow and they were invited to spend as much time as they liked wandering around the snow fields near the research facilities that were located just outside the main settlement.

The problems began when the Doctor build a miniature snowman to demonstrate to Nyssa and Adric how they were made….and it started to move.

It only took minutes for one snowman to duplicate itself into many and for those clones to get larger and larger. Eventually, it led to a showdown between the Doctor, his companions and the scientists working in the research labs and the army of snow creatures that had surrounded the building they were hiding out in.

After plenty of explosions and their resulting blizzards, a weary Doctor and companions trudged their way back to the TARDIS. Nyssa was confident that they had destroyed the last of the snowmen and even if they had missed any, the rising of the second sun would render the problem moot in a couple of hours.

Tegan, however, was not ready to let the Doctor leave it at that.

“We could have gone to Earth and made a normal snowman. But you couldn’t do that, could you? You had to take us to a planet with evil snow.”

“Honestly, Tegan I had no idea that the snow on Q75 had become sentient. I….”

“No idea?” Tegan crossed her arms over her chest while the Doctor cleared his throat and paced.

“Well, all right, I did know that the scientists on that planet were experimenting with artificial life. But I never dreamed that they had made so much progress that quickly. Or that they would choose snow to….”

“That they would choose to use something that they had a lot of lying around?”

“Doctor, is the food ready yet?” Adric interjected. “I’m hungry.”

The Doctor turned toward Adric, clearly grateful for the distraction. “Yes, I do believe it is. We should probably get out of these wet clothes before we eat though.”

“Perhaps after we eat, we can open our presents,” Nyssa offered.

“Yeah,” Tegan said, her expression brightening slightly. “I can’t wait to find out what’s under that tree.”

“Oh you’ll like you’re gift,” Adric nodded. “The Doctor got you a bracelet with these blue stones that….”

“Adric!” Tegan interrupted. “Don’t tell me that.”

“Why not?” Adric said. “I thought you’d be glad to know that you got something nice.”

“Maybe but it’s supposed to be a surprise,” Tegan said, frowning. “How would you like it if I ruined the surprise for you?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Adric said. “I was hoping that the Doctor would buy me….”

“Adric, the faster we all get changed into some drier clothes, the sooner we can eat,” the Doctor said, cutting him off. Adric shrugged and headed off for his room.

Nyssa let out a sigh and shook her head. This probably wasn’t the usual sort of Christmas that Tegan or the Doctor had in mind, but she was also sure that that didn’t really matter.

Not in a gathering of people who had lost much and yet still managed to find each other.

* * *

 

Late that night, the Doctor smiled as he watched the central column move, its rhythm helping him to meditate. In a few hours, Adric would wake up and find a jar of cooked and seasoned melon fruit sitting next to the other presents he had gotten after dinner.

A part of him wished he could be there when Adric discovered this additional gift, but instead the Doctor satisfied himself with the thought that perhaps, if only for a moment, an Alazrian boy could actually wonder if there might be a Santa Claus after all.


	7. Entropy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place right before Kinda.

_“Entropy increases….The more you put things together, the more they keep falling apart….”_

Adric rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling in his room on the TARDIS. The Doctor had spent a lot of time talking about entropy near the end of his life. Well…the end of his past life. His past self. Even before they heard the first ring of the Cloister Bell.

At the time, Adric had wondered why the Doctor had become so preoccupied with entropy. It had seemed like a simple enough concept to grasp and one that was inevitable anyway. So why bother so much with it? Now, he wondered if it was because the Doctor knew what was about to happen. Logopolis, the Master, the Watcher…all of it. Perhaps the Doctor knew his life was coming to an end in a sense.

He was still a bit angry at the Doctor for that. If he had known, the Doctor should have told him what was going to happen. Weren’t they supposed to be a team? Isn’t knowing that you’re about to die and then change something you should share with your teammates?

Or was it more than the Doctor that had changed?

Adric frowned. He wished he could go back to how things were. When it was him and the Doctor and Romana and K9 and they were seeking adventures together. It was the first time in his life when he felt that his life was clear and uncomplicated.

Back on Alzarius, Adric always felt like he was caught between two worlds. There was the world of academics where he was praised and was an instrument with use and purpose. Then there was the world of his brother where he was a person who had to struggle to prove himself day-by-day. Both of them were important to him, but both of them operated under such different rules. For a long time, he managed to straddle both of them, but Adric also worried that he would have to make a choice someday.

Then, one day, the choice seemed to be made for him. Varsh was dead and all that was left for him was the prospect of working with his people on the star-liner while they all searched for a new world to live in. The path had been laid out for him in clear terms.

But Adric even managed to surprise himself that day when he decided to stowaway on the Doctor’s TARDIS instead.

It had been a spur of the moment decision, but not one that he regretted. At least, not at first. His early travels were wondrous albeit dangerous as well. At last, Adric thought he had found the solution he’d been looking for: a solution of a world to belong to. Here, he was useful. He was learning. And he was still valued as a person and could reach for greater things. 

He just wished Varsh could have been a part of it somehow.

Looking back on it now, Adric wondered if the loss of his brother had been a signal of things to come that he’d missed. Soon, he’d lost Romana as well. And K9. It hadn’t been as tragic as when he had lost Varsh, but it was every bit as final.

It had hurt so much, Adric hadn’t really even thought about it when he left his entire universe behind. He still wasn’t sure if he had truly processed the enormity of what he had done. Not until he started to think about what it would take to get back.

If that was what he actually wanted.

Adric frowned again and sat up. He reached over and grabbed an old calculating machine he’d found in one of the Doctor’s workshops on the TARDIS. The switches and knobs could do simple addition and subtraction, but it needed work in order to be able to do more complex computations again. Adric had asked the Doctor to let him fix it himself, but he never seemed to find the time.

He turned the device around in his hands, flipping the switches idly. When the Doctor regenerated, Adric had been relieved. The fall from the radio tower could have killed him, and Adric had dreaded the possibility that he could lose the last person he could depend on and who he felt close to. Thus, while Nyssa and Tegan might have been unnerved or even scared by the Doctor’s change, Adric was grateful for it. Sure, the Doctor looked different now and had to deal with some aftereffects, but all of that seemed like a small price to pay. He figured it wouldn’t be that hard to get used to the new face, the new voice, the new body. Because all that mattered was their friendship and that hadn’t changed.

At least, it hadn’t for Adric. But for the Doctor…..

Adric fiddled with the adding and subtracting buttons, letting random calculations occur. Right after he regenerated, the Doctor did show signs that more than his body had changed. He had babbled about people and places from his past and that speedier, information-dense style of speaking didn’t go away. Gone was the wild, moody, artistic Doctor he had come to know. True, this Doctor was still brilliant and resourceful and still would seek out wrongs to fix.

But this Doctor also seemed so…paternal. Paternal and yet immature in other ways which was such an annoying combination in Adric’s eyes. He hadn’t been looking for a father. He had needed a mentor, a friend.

‘ _Click’_ Someone like the Doctor.

‘ _Click’_ Someone like the Doctor used to be.

‘ _Click’_ Someone who believed in him.

‘ _Click’_

Adric looked down at the device in his hands. The Doctor he had known had listened to him more. Had been more attentive. He wouldn’t have allowed him to fall into the hands of the Master. He would have tried to understand his point of view during the situation with Monarch.

_‘Click’ Click’ ‘Click’_

Adric sat the machine back down onto his bedside table, staring at the readout giving some nonsense answer to a nonsense problem. Maybe he had gotten it wrong with Monarch from the beginning. Of course, it was easy to see that now that he had learned more about what Monarch actually wanted to do. It made sense now why the Doctor had been so frantic to make sure that Monarch’s plans were thwarted.

But even though his plans had been tainted by his own greed, Adric still could not see what had been wrong with basic ideas behind them. A world where people did not hunger or get sick or want for anything. What could be wrong with that? How had the Doctor seen anything sinister in wanting a world where no one had to lose the people they loved?

Where no one had to die? Where no one had to change?

Wasn’t that the whole point of the adventures they kept having? To make sure that no one else had to suffer?

Adric sighed and turned his face to the wall. For once, numbers were not going to do him any good. Nor were the skills that Varsh had tried to teach him about getting along with others and working to gain an advantage in situations. Nothing he did seemed to make the Doctor happy anymore. It was all about keeping Tegan calm while trying to get her back to Heathrow. Or about pointing out how brilliant Nyssa was while overlooking her shortcomings with higher maths. It wasn’t about learning or adventuring anymore.

Or maybe it still was, but that wasn’t the main focus. Or maybe it was more like Adric felt as if he wasn’t really a part of it anymore.

He laid back down and slung an arm over his head, clenching his hand. He didn’t dislike Nyssa and Tegan. Not really. Tegan was nice enough when she wasn’t yelling at everyone. Especially him. And Nyssa was kind too. And brilliant. Adric liked working with her on scientific studies in her makeshift lab.

And the Doctor….

Adric frowned again. Despite how confused and frustrated he was by the Doctor these days, guilt bubbled up inside him from dwelling so much on the Doctor’s shortcomings. It wasn’t as if he had no shortcomings before. So why should they matter so much now?

Because they were different? Maybe that was why. Maybe it was like when you had gotten used to a room and became comfortable in it and then someone comes in and paints the walls and then that’s all you can see. It wasn’t that the Doctor was any better or worse now. It was simply a matter of not paying as much attention before as he was now.

The scowl on Adric’s face deepened. No matter how much he tried to rationalize his own feelings about what had happened, he couldn’t escape the fact that the Doctor had changed. And if the Doctor could change so much…what did that mean for their friendship? Surely it would have to change too.

“Adric?”

Adric raised his head to see Nyssa standing in the doorway of his room. She still looked groggy after her ordeal on Monarch’s ship although she was trying very hard to hide it.

“What is it?” he asked. Nyssa blinked slowly and held up a chess set in her hands.

“The Doctor has set the TARDIS down and is working on a device he says will help me get some delta wave rest,” she answered. “I thought maybe we could play a game while we were waiting.”

Adric sat up. He was pretty sure that Nyssa would not be a very good chess partner in the state she was in, but then again, the Doctor was always willing to play chess with people who were far from his equal in the game. So perhaps there was something to be learned in that.

“All right,” Adric said. “Where have we landed?”

“The Doctor said it was a planet called Deva Loka,” Nyssa said. “It’s really very lovely outside. We should set up a table out there to play.”

Adric nodded and picked up a chair to take with him outside. Maybe while Nyssa was sleeping, he could convince the Doctor to leave Tegan with her and the two of them could explore for a while on their own. He was certain that if he could spend some time alone with the Doctor, he could sort things out with him.

Hopefully, it would turn out to be as simple as that.

 


	8. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place after the Big Finish audio "Land of the Dead" and before "Winter For the Adept".

“You see, Nyssa, the results from our experiments could have far reaching implications. If I can figure out a way to direct the TARDIS toward these massive psychic fluctuations, it could lead to some very interesting discoveries that would otherwise be lost in a sea of shifting timelines.”

Nyssa tried to listen to the Doctor while also focusing on getting warm again. The Doctor had set up a small couch with a self heating blanket for her to relax on while he worked on getting the TARDIS ready for some new experiments he wanted to try on the directional systems.

“…and, of course, there’s a possibility that we could prevent any real damage to those timelines in the first place. Yes, it will be interesting to see where these experiments take us.”

“As long as wherever we end up next is somewhere warmer, Doctor,” she said.

The Doctor frowned at her. “That’s a very limiting outlook to take. Especially coming from you.”

“No, it’s a practical one,” Nyssa said, smiling back at him. “Scientific study is all well and good, but not at the constant expense of basic comforts.”

“The pursuit of knowledge isn’t without sacrifice, Nyssa,” the Doctor said. Then he returned her smile. “But perhaps you’re right. Very well, I will try my best to avoid arctic conditions for our first test. Speaking of which, are you feeling any better?”

“Much better, thank you, Doctor,” Nyssa said, sinking into her blanket even more. “We could have used blankets like these against those Permians.”

“Yes,” the Doctor mused. “Unfortunately, the TARDIS was a little out of reach at the time. Still, we were able to find a solution in the end. Thanks to Tulung and Miss Lewis.”

Nyssa frowned. When Tulung and Brett had kidnapped her to be their “guardian spirit”, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to forgive Tulung for his betrayal. Especially if something happened to the Doctor because she wasn’t able to help him.

Now that it was all over, Nyssa found that she had let go of all the anger and frustration she had felt toward Tulung even though her thoughts still dwelled on him. In her eyes, Tulung had allowed the spiritual part of his culture overshadow the rational aspects far too much while they were dealing with the Permians. Something that would have been frowned upon on Traken.

However, the more she thought about it, the more Nyssa wondered if the conflict Tulung experienced had truly been about the balance between science and spirituality. Perhaps it had been about something else all along. Something far more basic.

“Nyssa? Is something the matter?”

Nyssa blinked and looked over at the Doctor. His previous incarnation had worn his eccentric brilliance and long-acquired wisdom on his sleeve. This version of him hid all of that behind a youthful, pleasant face. And yet, somehow, Nyssa could not shake the feeling that this Doctor had an even wiser soul than the previous one. It was the sort of wisdom that gave his brilliance a needed empathetic edge.

“I was thinking about Tulung again,” she replied. “About how he lost himself in the ghosts of his past at one point.”

“Cultural belief can have a powerful influence on anyone,” the Doctor said. “It can seep into every facet of how a person thinks about the things that happen to them.”

“No, I wasn’t really talking about his religious beliefs,” Nyssa said. “He spent all those years searching for answers about his father and how he died. Years spent wondering if he would be able to make peace with what he knew about his father versus what Brett’s family tried to say about him.”

“Yes,” the Doctor nodded. “I’m glad we were able to give him the answers he needed.”

“So am I. And I know how difficult it is. To separate the truth you know about your father from the lies everyone else thinks they know.”

The Doctor watched her silently, his features softening as awareness stirred in his eyes. He walked over to Nyssa and pulled up a chair to sit across from her. By now, she had been on the TARDIS long enough that she didn’t bother to think too much about where the chair had come from.

“Nyssa…if there was a way I could free Tremas’ body from the Master’s control….”

“I know,” Nyssa said gently. “It’s all right, Doctor. My father is gone. Just like Traken. I’m learning to accept that. And I’m fairly certain that my father’s soul has moved on. At least, I hope it has.”

“I hope so too,” the Doctor said quietly.

“But we are the only ones who know that,” Nyssa added. “Us and Tegan, I suppose.”

Nyssa felt another twinge of loss when she thought about Tegan. She hoped Tegan was happy in her life back on Earth. The thought that Tegan was where she wished to be made coping with her absence easier.

“All the terrible things that he keeps doing…that face is all that people see,” she continued. “It’s all that people know. To them, it’s the face of evil and destruction. And even if they don’t know that he was Tremas of Traken…he and I….we’re all that’s left of Traken Of my father’s legacy.”

Nyssa looked down into her lap. She felt the Doctor place a hand onto her forearm, a caring gesture that meant far more to her in that moment than any words of sympathy he could give.

“It had to be hard for Tulung,” she said. “To hold onto the truth with the weight of everyone else’s judgment of his father pushing down on him. No wonder the rational held so little appeal to him by the end of it.”

“I don’t know if that’s strictly true, Nyssa,” the Doctor said. “Granted, he did lose his way a couple of times. Probably due to the tainted meat he had ingested and the psychic influence of the Permians. But, in the end, he understood what was important. He realized that his father was not defined by the things he left behind, but by the things he had done while he was still alive.”

The Doctor leaned close to her. “Tremas and Traken’s legacy are continued in your actions, Nyssa. In the way you continue to hold to the beliefs that guided Traken. They’re not in a body that was stolen any more than Tulung’s father’s legacy rested in the remains that were left in that cave.”

He sat back up, letting his hand glide down her arm until he brought it back to his own lap. “I think Tulung realized this too. That’s why he was able to let go of his father’s remains despite the explicit traditions in his culture involving paying respect to the dead. Tulung was already paying respect by continuing the work his father had sacrificed his life for: protecting the Earth from those creatures.”

Nyssa looked up at him, another gentle smile on her face. “I believe you are right.” She didn’t elaborate on that, but she knew she didn’t need to. The Doctor had always been good at picking up on the subtext behind other people’s words.

The two of them sat together, silently enjoying each other’s company for several more minutes until a bleep from the console caught their attention.

“Oh no,” the Doctor said, his face falling. “I thought I had compensated for that.”

Nyssa’s eyebrows furrowed. “Compensated for what, Doctor?”

The Doctor didn’t answer. Instead he leapt out of his chair and dashed toward the console. He had almost made it when the TARDIS violently tilted, throwing him face first toward the floor and causing Nyssa to tumble off the sofa. Thankfully, her blanket cushioned most of the fall.

“Doctor,” she said, carefully crawling toward the console. “What is happening?”

The Doctor pulled himself up, using the console’s edge to steady him. He put a hand to his face to check for any injury before putting his focus back onto the instruments in front of him.

“A minor error in my calculations is all.”

“A ‘minor error’, Doctor?”

“Yes well, when dealing with complex, fluid calculations related to psychic influence on temporal anomalies, it is possible to make an error or two along the way.”

Nyssa gave him a patient, but knowing smile. She imagined that it was unlikely that he had made a mistake in the actual math involved and that, instead, the Doctor’s exceptional and amazingly rapid mind had accidently leap-frogged over some minor, but important step in the process he was trying to work on. It was just a symptom of his thought processes being unable to keep up with the curiosity that had taken him by the hand and run off with him.

The TARDIS suddenly righted itself, and Nyssa cautiously rose to her feet while the Doctor grinned triumphantly.

“See, nothing to worry about. Now then, Nyssa, I might need your help for the next phase of this experiment.”

Nyssa gave him a questioning stare. “Doctor, you haven’t forgotten what we discussed earlier? About avoiding subzero climates?”

“Hmm? Oh yes, quite right. I haven’t forgotten, Nyssa. And I promise, I will do my best.”

Nyssa smiled at him again. No matter what happened next, that was the one thing that she knew the Doctor would always do.


End file.
